my friends....
I believe a person who has one or two really good lifetime friends is a blessed person. A lifetime friend has seen the good, the bad, and the ugly in you and is still by your side. A lifetime friend tells you truth even when all you want is lies. A lifetime friend comes along side of you and walks beside you and it feels like home.....like being wrapped up in your favorite blanket...their love keeping you warm and safe....I have been blessed with three remarkable, lifetime friends. I am blessed.....
Recently, one of these lifetime friends was taken from me.....my heart is broken.....I don't know how to let go of her. She is part of me...I've been in her life for thirty years!!!!! She has been important to me for 30 years!!!!! How does one let go of that??? My head says to "put in on a shelf, for now...just out of reach." My heart wants to shrivel up and die......I think of the picture of Jesus, the good shepherd, leaving His 99 sheep to rescue the one sheep who has wandered away.....I would do that!!!! I would leave everything behind to rescue her!!! I swear it......Everyone says to let it go...that I need to think of me and decide the cost is too great. Everyone says,"It's not your fault, it doesn't make sense...there's nothing else to be done...let it go....."
Unfortunately, that doesn't work when you are a "golden retriever". I am a "golden retriever", the most loyal of loyal.........and i'm not that self-sentered! I would like to think that if, God forbid, anything like this ever happpened to me that my friends and family would NEVER give up on me!!! I hope they would leave the 99 to come after me......I know they would...Love never fails.....
Recently, one of these lifetime friends was taken from me.....my heart is broken.....I don't know how to let go of her. She is part of me...I've been in her life for thirty years!!!!! She has been important to me for 30 years!!!!! How does one let go of that??? My head says to "put in on a shelf, for now...just out of reach." My heart wants to shrivel up and die......I think of the picture of Jesus, the good shepherd, leaving His 99 sheep to rescue the one sheep who has wandered away.....I would do that!!!! I would leave everything behind to rescue her!!! I swear it......Everyone says to let it go...that I need to think of me and decide the cost is too great. Everyone says,"It's not your fault, it doesn't make sense...there's nothing else to be done...let it go....."
Unfortunately, that doesn't work when you are a "golden retriever". I am a "golden retriever", the most loyal of loyal.........and i'm not that self-sentered! I would like to think that if, God forbid, anything like this ever happpened to me that my friends and family would NEVER give up on me!!! I hope they would leave the 99 to come after me......I know they would...Love never fails.....
posted by Lori's World @ 10:13 AM
2 Comments:
At 1:34 PM,
Lori's World said…
My Lori Lou,
This has been so much of our conversation over the years, hasn't it? Friends. Why we are drawn to some more than others? And how those one, two or three special friends in particular become part of that inner circle we all have. Why them and not others?
What I know, Lori, is that as difficult, painful and even unbelievable this path with your dear old friend has been, those of us who love you most just want to give you a reprieve from the sadness, worry and pain this has caused. It has been a long road to here and no one would expect that you would or could drop her and just move on. I know you will never fully let go. But I hope you can loosen your grip for a bit. Maybe she will return and maybe friendship will come again, but this is such an unusual and unpredictable situation. It's not like ya'll had a disagreement and stopped speaking. Like we said while you were here, our need is to try and make logic out of something completely illogical. And so it seems there is no middle ground.
The part of you that I love most is knowing that you are someone who would come for me no matter what, no matter where - and you would not give up. We have that in each other. And I wouldn't expect you or want you to give up or let go, when it was difficult or even seemed impossible.
You've done more than most would. And you'll do more again, when you can. For now, it's prayers and a belief that maybe some small kernel that you left with her will remain and she will keep hearing that. I just want her to hear your voice, your love for her and remember that bond between you. I want that for you.
For now, feel rallied around and so very loved. And just as you would go to the ends of the earth for those of us in your precious, blessed circle. We, and most definitely I, would likewise, until my very last breath, keep searching for you. I wouldn't give up. And you don't have to either.
Just rest a bit.
Love you,
Kimberly
At 11:56 PM,
Lori said…
See what you made me do? I'm a blogger now. I'm pretty sure growing up I never said I wanted to be a blogger. But some things just need to be said and/or clarified.
My love, I know I don't always say the right things but I always mean the best. Thats because your the best. And I only want the best for you.
When I read your entry from today I shared your pain. I hope you know I share your pain. I also hope you consider me a lifetimer!! Can husbands be that? I would hope so.
I also had to correct you on something. You said everybody was telling you to let it go. Well, not everybody. I'm here to encourage you to not give up, you didnt seem too receptive to that the other night, and I know you just need me to listen, but what kind of husband/friend would I be if I didn't try to help? If I didnt encourage you? If I wasnt there supporting you?
Like you said, through the good, the bad and the ugly (think I've given you too much of some and not enough of the other) lifetimers are always there. And I will always be here for you-ALWAYS!!
Love you with all my heart, Con
P.S. If you ever find yourself lost, I'm a bloodhound and would find you no matter what!! XXX
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