Hey Laurie 5

Oh, my beautiful friend....I miss you.
Where are you?
I was in my garden the other day and you came to my mind, and I was so grieved....that I could hardly breathe.....so, I escaped the pain and went into a beautiful daydream.....Pam called and simply said to come over, quick, because you were there......
I drove over to Pams' and saw you in the yard and I tried to run to you, but I just fell, on my knees and sobbed. You came over and held me and asked for my forgiveness....and I looked at you, my beautiful, beautiful Laurie and told you there was nothing to forgive....and we just held each other and cried......it was delicious and....bittersweet.
Where are you?
I have prayed for you to be well.
I have prayed for you to have clarity.
I have prayed that you would be restored.
Even if you came through this, I don't know who you'd be?
Most times I think this would be easier if you had just died.....
I used to tell my girls the "stories of us" and see reminders of you in our lives....the paintings, the gifts, the pictures, the memories....
I'm spent.....all out...sad beyond measure.
Funny though, how you still creep into the little things...the girls remind me of a funny story about us....we saw a car that looked like your Nissan and I remembered how Viv used to charge us 10 cents to give us a ride to school and if we made any noise at all, she would stop and say, "get out!"
We had to run to school, alot, didn't we?
It's time to start thinking of finding you again....this time, though, you will not hurt me....you will not catch we unaware.....my eyes are open and my heart, guarded......
I will not give up on you..... my beautiful friend.